Cloud Eight And Three Quarters
by Machiaveli
Summary: Please speak slowly, my heart is learning, teach me heartache, stop this burning now. SiriusOC


**Cloud 8 3/4 **

**Ch.1 Please Speak Slowly**

My name is Kiwi Everett. Don't believe me? Good, because it's not my real name. My real name is Cathy Marie Everett. But please. I implore-I'm _begging _you. On my knees and everything- call me Kiwi. It's so much more continent, and personality fitting.

Okay. So I'm guessing that you opened this story, looking for a gushy- beautiful but lonely princess, macho, robust, handsome prince, they find each other, love at first sight, kiss, and ride off into the sunset-romance. Am I right? I am, aren't I? Well, if that's what you want, that's fine with me. But you won't find it here. Might I suggest Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty, or Beauty and The Beast?

Still here, eh? Well that means that you'll have to be here for the whole thing, No matter how embarrassing for me-or Lilly 'cause I like to bug her-, or how horrible and angsty things get. Through thick and thin.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I guess I should start the day it all started, during my sixth year at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It had always been me and by best friends. Beautiful, fiery Lilly. Quiet, passionate Alice. Brave, unstoppable Molly. Very blonde, drama queen Rachel. And me. Plain ol' Kiwi. There was nothing really special about me. I didn't think so at least. Lilly and Mia were always talking about how they would kill for hair, or a body like mine. I told them they could kill me, and take them if they wanted.

We were best friend to the end. Though, sometimes I wondered how we could be so close, and be so different. But we were inseparable. The five Gryffindor girls. Together to the end. And then there were the Gryffindor Guys. Devilishly handsome, popular Sirius. Big-headed, Quidditch star James. Cute, quiet, bookworm Remus. And small, annoying, fat Peter.

It was like they were born to bug us, and us to constantly tease them. But, as Gryffindors, we were stuck together for all of eternity. Eternity meaning the end of seventh year. But that's beside the point again. To tell you the truth, I've always hat the tiniest, most microscopic, need-three-telescopes-to-see-it, crush on Sirius. But there's no way in heaven, hell, or any other parallel universes, that he would ever, ever, and I repeat _ever _like me back. I guess no guys ever thought of me that way…

"It's official. I have nothing, and I mean nothing, to wear." I grumbled, pressing my face into a crimson silk pillow. Lilly raised a manicured eyebrow at me.

"Someone forgot to take their happy pills this morning!" Rachel chirped, whacking me on the butt with a towel as she walked past. This was coming from the person who was peppy and happy no matter what was going on.

"No, I'm just saving them up for when you're all having fun at Hogsmeade, and I'm stuck here with Mrs. Norris because I. Have. Nothing. To. Wear!"

"Oh don't be such a drama queen. You can wear something of mine." Lilly said, throwing her wardrobe open once more.

"Should I be fearing for my life right about now?"

"Oh yea, Kiwi, be afraid, be very afraid." Lilly said sarcastically, pulling item after item out of the wardrobe, looking at them, then throwing them onto the floor. Finally she rose, a sound of triumph escaping her lips. "I've found it!" She sang, throwing the outfit to me.

The 'it' she had been referring to was a pair of faded blue jeans, and a white tee shirt with 'Angel In Training' on the front in camo letters. Lets get a few things straight here. I did not, still do not, wear jeans. And judging by her self-satisfied smirk, Lilly knew that too. "Oh c'mon Lills, you know I don't wear jeans!"

"That's exactly why I want you to wear them! There a size too small for me, I'll bet they'll fit you perfectly!" I however, was less enthusiastic.

"All right. Fine. But I'll bet you they look bad." I grumbled, snatching the offending pants off the bed and standing up. I stripped out of my pajama bottoms and pulled the legs of the jeans over my own, skinny legs.

Lilly was right; they did fit perfectly. But they were too form fitting for my taste. I preferred to wear peasant skirts, something that didn't make every guy in the vicinity notice me. To my great surprise, every one of the girls was staring at me. Molly's jaw had dropped, and Rachel's big blue eyes got the size of dinner plates.

"See, I told you they'd look horrible. I'm taking them off." I said, reaching for the zipper of the jeans.

"NO!" They all screamed, jumping on me.

"No, Ki don't! They look amazing on you!"

"Kiwi Mari Everett has a body!"

"I never would have guessed…" I rolled my eyes and chewed on the corner of my lip. This was a big change for me. Especially if I had to wear them in public. To Hogsmeade even.

"C'mon, Kiwi. Put the shirt on so we can go!" Molly said impatiently, throwing the shirt Lilly had given me at my face.

Reluctantly, I pulled the shirt over my head. "Oh my gosh Kiwi, you look amazing! It's so much better than the stuff you usually wear!"

"I can feel my self-esteem sky-rocketing." I murmured sarcastically, walking over to my vanity and picking up a hair tie. Feeling a bit to resentful to mess with any makeup or fancy hair style, I threw my wavy light brown hair into a messy bun.

"C'mon then girls. Frank is probably at Hogsmeade all ready, waiting for me." Alice said nervously, curling a lock of brown hair around her finger.

"Ohh… someone's got a hot date! Let's go girls. Wouldn't want to make Allie late for Frankie, he might get worried." Fran Longbottom was Alice's boyfriend of two years, and in the year ahead of us at Hogwarts, meaning he had graduated the year before, as had Molly's boyfriend, Arthur. I felt suddenly depressed. I hadn't had a boyfriend in my life. Unless you count that boy in Kindergarten, following me around and telling me every five seconds that he was in love with me.

We walked down the stairs. I felt so self conscious that I thought I might throw up, and I reached around my stomach to hide all of the 'flub' that I was exposing-though Lilly protested that I didn't _have _any flub to hide. James was lounging on one of the couches with Sirius and Remus-whose nose was stuck in a book-obviously waiting for Lilly to come down. She gave an audible 'ahem' and James looked up, his hazel eyes shining through his horn-rimmed glasses.

I gave Lilly an over-enthused smile as she walked, somewhat reluctantly over to where James was seated. She had only agreed to a date with him so he would leave her alone, and told James so herself. But that little fact didn't dampen his mood at all. He held out his arm to her, and she took it, whispering something that sounded suspiciously like, "if you try anything, Potter, I'll make it so you can't ever even think about having children." James looked scared for a moment, then his expression cleared, and he led her out of the room.

Rachel draped a slim arm over my shoulder, and I did that same to her. I could feel a few people's eyes on me, and tried to look as if I wasn't seriously considering running back up to the dorm and lock myself in. Shooting a look at Sirius, who was staring at me as if he had never seen me before in his life, I said, "Keep staring, I might do a trick!" and walked out of the common room with Rachel, Molly, and Alice.

The farther away from the common room I got, the more self-conscious I got. People in the halls kept giving me the same look that Sirius did, as if they had never seen a woman before in their lives. My arms automatically seemed to want to cover up my abdomen, and had to be pulled away repeatedly by either Alice or Rachel.

It was like that all the way to Hogsmeade, and into The Three Broomsticks. Alice and Molly spotted their dates within minutes, and left me and Rachel alone together. We grabbed a table pressed up against the window, and Rachel went off to get drinks. A few tables over, I spotted Lilly and James sitting together. Everyone was looking at them as if they had each grown a third arm or something. Maybe Lilly's 125 "Not if it were a choice between you and the Giant Squid, Potter" speeches had something to do with that. At least I didn't feel like everyone was looking at me anymore…

Ten minutes later, and Rachel still wasn't back. Craning my neck over the crowd, I saw her talking and laughing with Amos Diggory, the best looking boy in our year. And it didn't look like they were getting ready to move any time soon. I couldn't believe it, I had been ditched. Just as I was about to get up, someone came and sat down at my table. "Sirius, what are you doing here?" I asked, bewildered to see the very handsome Gryffindor sitting right in front of me.

"I couldn't help notice you were sitting here alone, Thought I'd grace you with my presence and make everything better!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get over yourself Pup." I didn't call him Padfoot, like his friends did. The first time I had heard them call him that, I came up with Pup, because it was so much better than Padfoot.

"Friends ditched you, didn't they Scrap?" I cringed at his nickname for me. Okay, no more Pup…

"For you information, Pup, Rachel is off getting us drinks." Okay, please ignore the previous 'no more Pup' comment, it's too darn cute. Sirius glanced over at Rachel, who was still talking animatedly to Diggory, all thoughts of me probably forgotten. He raised an eyebrow. "All right, I've been ditched. But I don't exactly see you surrounded by adorning fans, either."

"I shook them off at Zonko's. I'm in disguise. _I'm going to be a master of disguise, I'm going to be a master of disguise, I'm going to be a master of…_"

"STOP SINGING!" I could feel the heat burning at me cheeks and ducked low into my seat as everyone in the vicinity looked over at me.

"Real smooth, Scrap, real smooth."

"Ha, remind me later to laugh."

"Hey, Scrap?"

"Yes, Pup?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"You're scheduled to laugh now." I made a face at him, and went to stand up and leave, but he grabbed my arm.

"You really have a death wish, don't you?"

"Let me buy you a butterbeer before you hex me into oblivion. Not like you have anything better to do." He gave me a look like a lost and abused puppy, hence the name Pup. He was too damn adorable.

"I have plenty better things to.. ah you're right. Fine." He looked gleeful, and ran off, returning a few moments later with two foaming mugs of butterbeer. "At least you didn't get distracted by Diggory like Rachel did." I said as he sat down, and I watched Rachel and Diggory leaving the bar hand in hand.

"I don't swing that way, man. Diggory's a git." Sirius said, taking a swig of his butterbeer, and apparently studying me very closely.

"What?" I asked, feeling suddenly very self-conscious again, his cool black eyes making me want to run from the bar and hide in my dorm.

"You seem, different somehow." Man, this boy really was thick…

"Uh, maybe the fact that you've never seen me in jeans and a tee shirt…?" I offered, but he shook his head.

"No, that's not it." He replied, looking lost in thought. Must be painful.

"Eh, you do that," I got up, and made my way towards the door, but a hand grabbed my wrist, holding me back.

"Look, I was just kidding. You look good to tell you the truth." That set me off, and my face was as crimson as Santa's Suit.

"I-I…" What a moment to get tongue tied….

"Wait just a moment. Let me finish my butterbeer, and I'll take you wherever you'd like. Please?" Oh, no, not the puppy face again.

Must stay strong.

Too damn cute.

Will power crumbling.

CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNNISHMENT!

"Fine," I said, sliding back into the seat across from him. "But you make one comment about hot chicks, or how good so and so is in bed, I'm making sure you get food poisoning." He looked pretty unfazed, and just quirked an eyebrow while taking a final swig of his butterbeer.

"Ready to go?" Sirius asked, and I sighed, standing up again. Linking arms, we left the pub together.

I could hear the doom coming on.

* * *

**Discalimer: **Yup, you've heard it all before, don't own the characters, besides my OC's, steal them, and you will die. Thank you, and have a nice day.


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